Sometimes you get insight from incidents, without anybody actually telling you. One such beautiful day of my life.
When I went to the temple today after my usual prayers. I took prasad (devotional offering made to God, which is later shared among devotees) & like always, I found one spot & sat there doing mind talks with God, telling him all that I want to share with him. Thanking him for being with me always, for giving me strength, for blessing my family, complaining about things he has not handled yet & then later, just sitting quietly with my eyes closed in search of answers, in search of better understanding of certain incidents, and other times just trying to meditate. Of course in all this process usually my tears flow.
Be it a happy moment or not such a good time, I always get overwhelmed in front of Him. I’m never able to hide my tears in front of God.
As a child I had a big list of prayers that I wanted God to answer. That’s what I was taught, He has solution to all problems, he is the giver. As I grew up, the list reduced as I understood better, the meaning of He being a giver & realized that He knows what is the best for me & He’ll give me that without asking for. As far as solving problem is concerned, its me who needs to work on them rather than waiting for God to do some Miracle. As the popular phrase says , “God helps those who helps themselves.”
That made me think, why do I come to the temple & cry every time. Anything good I thank Him & my eyes get wet, anything not going good in life, I ask for strength & cry… I just open my heart to Him & get overwhelmed. With my eyes closed thinking all this, I opened my eyes wiping those tears & looked at one of the God’s idol (known as the goddess of strength) in front of me & that smile on her face. That Smile so comforting , so understanding , so full of love, compassion, so giving, not that I have never noticed her smiling face earlier but not with the same mindset as today.
Looking at that serene smile on her face & the eyes reflecting it manifold, something in me changed. I said to myself, “What have I been doing?”. There are millions of people praying at home, praying at temples, sometimes just praying anywhere & everywhere, asking & sharing so many things with God.
Their happiness, their sorrows , their agony, their pain, their suffering, their frustration their anger & the list goes on & on. Asking for something , complaining for something & thinking when will some of our prayers will be answered, without realizing that God is already giving us something which we often overlook. He is giving us back an answer with his pure -selfless smile & is waiting for us to accept & acknowledge it.
That’s the reassurance that everything is taken care of. Think about it if you are in front of your God ( or to whomever you worship). & you see him/her not so happy. How will you feel? I wiped my tears & promised myself that no matter how much ever I get emotional in front of God, I’m not going to leave the place ( Mandir, temple) without returning back the smile that he gives to me, after all my crying scene is over. I know those tears will flow & I know there is nothing wrong in it.
So, today I walked out of the temple giving that smile back to him & usually I hardly take any time to smile or even burst out loud but I was surprised with myself today as I struggled stretching my lips to smile, it was as if I’m learning to smile for the first time. I’m sure I’ll do it with much ease in days to come, but just as a a child’s first smile gives a mother immense pleasure I’m sure God would have felt the same. He deserves our smile more than our tears. 🙂
Why am I sharing this with you all? Definitely not to make you think why was I crying. Let me assure you friends, I’m already feeling better. It’s only because at times we need others to make us understand something simple but very important to make our life better & yes I don’t know how many of you will understand what I wish to convey here today, but even if a few will, I’ll be happy that the number of people who will return that smile back to him will be more.
I’m already feeling much lighter, much better today & I know this is what God gave me today.
If this is called as self enlightenment, then I’m so happy to embrace it.
Sharing this experience with you all is my little effort to give something back to the creator. Something priceless, which each one of us possess. Toothed or toothless all have one. 🙂
It makes life so easy.
Live your Life, don’t drag it.